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Soooo .... what? You think I'm funny? What?! I make you laugh?? Like a clown?!? Hah??!! ... Heh heh heh ....

Anyway ... all fun aside ... I get email from time to time asking me, "OK smart guy. You seem to bitch and moan about all the things you seem to think are wrong with Los Angeles and California, but you offer no solutions! Nothing! You have your stupid little website, yet all you do is complain! Well? What are you doing to make it better, hah??!!"

Well ... what can I say? I do as much as any ONE person could do.I give to certain charities. I coach teams for my city's Park & Rec teams. I vote every time without fail. Of course it doesn't help much when things you vote on get tossed out by some bleeding-heart liberal in a black nightgown up in Frisco' who says that the people didn't really understand what they were voting for. What a bunch of crap.
I guess I could run for some sort of office ... but I don't think most folk would be ready for me or my particular brand of thought process. And besides ... I'd become one of THEM. Like the average run-of-the-mill mad scientist in some grade B horror flick, I'd be transformed into a gigantic disgusting blob of a mutated insect. Although ... it might be fun, if nothing else.
Being in office that is .... not some mutated freak.

So ... If I ran things .... If I had a say in the way things were run .... If I could actually change things ... these are things I would do or change. These are not in any particular order, although I would consider some of these things a tad more important than others.

Those Goddamn carpool lanes on the freeway would be GONE! The state uses YOUR tax money to make these things and then tells you you can't use them if your not riding along with some disgusting, smelly co-worker who farts and keeps changing the radio station... And fine you if you do.

If you got a traffic ticket for something and it was a, say, $50.00 fine ... that's ALL it would be. None of this adding on another couple hundred dollars for fees, penalties,taxes, this n' that shit.

The lotto would be gone. All the lotto is, is a tax for stupid people. The odds on winning are like a ga-zillion to one, and the schools haven't benefited one tiny bit as far as I can see. If you want to gamble, go to Nevada. At least there, they give you free drinks while you lose your money.

ALL political officials could and would be FIRED if caught doing anything illegal. None of this "recall election" crap. Not only that, but they would LOSE any and all pension they had built up.

While we're at it, why not make any political doofus who can actually have a hand in losing huge chunks of taxpayers money ..... make them take a bond out. If they lose or piss away $$$ (Like the "Belmont Learning Center" .... what's wrong with calling a school a school?) then it's covered. If they can't be bonded for whatever reason, then tough shit. They can't hold office.

If a proposition was voted on and won ... that would be THAT. No court challenges. No lawsuits. No single one judge killing it. If the people want something, they'd get it.

ALL elected officials pay would be directly tied to their job performance. No automatic anything. No voting themselves a healthy raise.

No "3 strikes and your out" law. I give em' TWO. If you can't clean up your act after one felony conviction then I want you locked up.

Crooks would serve their FULL sentence. No time off for good behavior. No parole.

There would be special state grocery stores where people on welfare and getting food stamps or WIC coupons would have to go. These stores would have only the basic food staples. Nothing fancy. Only basic things like hamburger, fruits, vegetables, breads, milk, etc.

Welfare would be limited to 6 months. Period.

Someone on welfare coming in from another state would only get what that state was paying them. Period.

You would HAVE to be a LEGAL CITIZEN to receive ANY tax-based services.

In order to vote, you'd have to prove you were employed.

Car registration fees would be limited to no more than whatever the national average fees were.

All advertising, anything printed, anything broadcast, and anything taught ...would be in English. No more DMV books printed in 100 different languages. No more city, county, or state literature printed in 100 different languages. No more SAP simulcasts. No more job applications in 100 different languages. Public schools would be taught in English and nothing else. This shit all costs $$.

Anyone who looked liked, talked like, acted like, or even gave the slightest hint of being a gang member would be subject to full harassment by the police. Any time of day, any day of the week. In fact, if you are a known gang member then you would have your "civil rights" severely cut until you can prove you've cleaned up your act.

No more court cases being overturned because someone's "civil rights" were violated. If your guilty, then your freekin' guilty. No more "But your honor, the police didn't say "Mother may I" before kicking down the door of my client's meth lab" bullshit.

If you get caught a 2nd time with no auto insurance, you lose your license for life. If you get caught driving again after THAT ...a huge fine, you get your car confiscated on the spot, and a small amount of jail time.

A second DUI offense in a 10 year period would be an automatic 1 year in jail and loss of license forever. If you get caught again in that time frame, 10 years in the slammer and you never get your license back.

ALL felony convictions would carry at minimum a 10-year sentence.

Big-rig trucks would be limited to driving the freeways and highways to between 7 PM and 6 AM. If caught driving other than those hours it'd be a $500 fine.

Public school teachers, principals, and administration's salaries would all be based on student's performance.

There would be heavy fines for people blocking traffic on freeway on-ramps or off-ramps trying to sell you whatever crap it is they are selling.

There would also be heavy fines for those who take up and block sidewalks for entire city blocks with their makeshift "swapmeets".

Taggers would face serious jail time. Even for 1st time offenders.

Laws would be set into place that benefit the victims, NOT the scum-bag criminals.

Soccer .... in any and all forms would be completely banned. Soccer is a sissy "sport", invented by a bunch of sissy Euro's, wearing sissy shorts and sissy knee-socks and is played by a bunch of sissies. And the sissy "Let's all feel GOOD about ourselves and not even keep score because we don't don't want any little ego's bruised" parents, are turning their kids into a bunch of sissies. Soccer .... sissy ...... sissy ...... soccer.

Those fucking plastic bags that you get your groceries (and other crap) put in would be BANNED forever. If ever there was ONE thing that is more of a trash nuisance, is THOSE Goddamn things. I hate em' at the store ... I hate seeing them blowing around the streets .... I hate having to pick them up out of my front/back yard ... In fact if I ever met the moron that came up with those, I'd put one over his/her head and pull the drawstring tight!

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Stay tuned boys and girls!!
I've only yet just begun to think about this!!