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Los Angeles.... the dream of dreams for many people. A place where everyone is eternally young and beautiful, nobody works, and the biggest decision of the day is what horse to ride down what beach, while sipping a Sunkist Orange. Everyone is blonde and buff, lives in Malibu, and shops in Beverly Hills. Movie Stars are so plentiful you bump into a dozen a day. The streets are paved with gold!...and itís always 74 degrees outside. And thats just on the weekdays! On the weekends you just hop into your 'Beemer' or throw your leg over the saddle of your way-cool chic Harley, and head off to the week's most 'trendy' restaurant, watering-hole, or oxygen bar (complete with ferns and a waiter who says "Hello! My name is Lance, and I'll be your server tonight!"). Or perhaps go hit the slopes, or maybe even to the private beach for the latest party being thrown by one of your many Hollywood friends. Hell, you just can't wait for them to see your latest plastic surgery or your $500 hair 'style'. Decisions, decisions... Life is just such a bitch around here!

Yeah right.... if your stupid enough to believe the crap thatís spoon-fed you on asinine TV shows like "Baywatch" or "90210". If you think that those moronic shows even come anywhere near what life here is like, you're an even bigger idiot than the bubbleheads portrayed on the casts of those shows. There must be no shortage of idiots though ... because for some reason they 'buy' the can of goods sold to them, and just keep a-comin'!

Los Angeles SUCKS and Iíll tell you why....


Now...... before you get the wrong impression here.... let me explain just exactly where Iím coming from. Iím neither a disgruntled transplant from New York, bitching about how you canít get a decent pastrami sandwich at 3 AM, or a native mid-westerner lamenting the fact that there is no "changing" of the seasons, or any 'middle American' who upon arrival is horrified to discover themselves suddenly surrounded by freaks and weirdo's, nor any of the other reasons why anyone would be forced, by necessity or even voluntarily, to live in this hell-hole. Iím just your average "Joe". Iím a California native, born in Burbank in 1955. I grew up in Sepulveda (North Hills now... which is neither "north" or has any real hills), and have lived in Northridge, Canoga Park, Chatsworth, Simi Valley, South Pasadena, Highland Park, Culver City, Reseda, Palmdale, and brief stints in Sacramento and San Diego.

Iím about as average as you could get. Blue collar worker with a decent (EX) Civil Service job, (I now work in the private sector .... TRUST ME ..... Snivel Service is NOT the easy, laid-back, cushy work you may THINK it is!!) 1.0 wives, 2.0 kids, 1.0 dogs, 2.0 cars, and an average house with the white picket fence, yadda-yadda-yadda... you know the story. (House is gone ... gave it up .... see "I'm Outta Here") Some might even call me an "Angry White Male" (YES, I am!!!). Or maybe even more fittingly a "Joe Six-pack". I have no problem with this and I know who I am.

At one time in my life I would have defended living (and the only reason I use the word "living", is for lack of a more descriptive word of what itís like to exist in this "armpit") in/around L.A. or the rest of California with my dying breath. Now.... I canít get out of here fast enough, and consider anyone who would
want to live here a fucking idiot.

And now without further delay ... Here are all the wonderful reasons to LEAVE Los Angeles... Just like I did....


WARNING!!
Some of the pictures in the pages below are NOT for the kiddies or faint-of-heart!! This site contains graphic pictures of crime scenes!! If you are offended by this, or don't want to expose your kids to this, then LEAVE NOW!!

Some of these pages will take a minute or two to load. Be patient ... it's worth the wait!


BEAUTY AND THE BEAST

HOLLYWOOD MINDWASH

GANGS AND CRIME:

MURDER AND MAYHEM:

EARTHQUAKES, FIRE & FLOODS:

SMOG & POLLUTION:

L.A. UNIFIED SCHOOL DISTRICT:

MISCELLANEOUS CRAP:

TOURIST TIPS

IS THIS THE U.S.A. or MEXICO??

FIGHT BACK!!!

A DAY IN THE LIFE

THE WAY IT USED TO BE

IF I RAN THE CIRCUS

... IN CONCLUSION ...



OTHER PLACES & THINGS THAT SUCK!!!


LINKS:


I'M OUTTA' HERE!!!!!

Tales of the Great Northwest - Chapter I

Tales of the Great Northwest - Chapter II

Tales of the Great Northwest - Chapter III


I GET EMAIL !!


Damn! I get EVEN MORE MAIL!!


DISCLAIMER


This website is protected by the Constitution of the United States of America. 1st Amendment. (If you need me to point out where it is to you, and explain it, you'd better leave now, because you probably won't understand anything else in this website). It is NOT however, an official position of, representative of, or endorsed by the City of Los Angeles, Los Angeles County, or the State of California, or their employees and/or elected officials, or any of the other knuckleheads mentioned in these pages. The opinions on this website are solely mine and mine alone and I represent no one except for myself. This website is for information, comment, crticism, news reporting and educational purposes only. This a non-profit website, and will always be a non-profit website. There may be items contained in this website that may or may not be of a copyright nature, and I do not claim copyrights on any of it. These items that may or may not be considered of a copyrighted nature are being used under the Fair Use copyrights law. So there.


**COPYRIGHT NOTICE**


In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, any copyrighted work in this website is distributed under Fair Use without profit or payment to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for non-profit research and educational purposes only.

Sec. 107. Limitations on exclusive rights: Fair use


Notwithstanding the provisions of sections 106 and 106A, the fair use of a copyrighted work, including such use by reproduction in copies or phonorecords or by any other means specified by that section, for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching (including multiple copies for classroom use), scholarship, or research, is not an infringement of copyright. In determining whether the use made of a work in any particular case is a fair use the factors to be considered shall include -

(1) the purpose and character of the use, including whether such use is of a commercial nature or is for nonprofit educational purposes;
(2) the nature of the copyrighted work;
(3) the amount and substantiality of the portion used in relation to the copyrighted work as a whole; and
(4) the effect of the use upon the potential market for or value of the copyrighted work. The fact that a work is unpublished shall not itself bar a finding of fair use if such finding is made upon consideration of all the above factors.



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Click on the above, or
CLICK HERE and download the plugin.... It'll only take a few minutes, but well worth your while! And .... it's FREE!

(Note: I have found that if you install "Windows Media Player" or "Windows 98" it may/will override Cresendo and the audio may not work right. Just reinstall Cresendo, and all will be well again. In some cases, you may have to go into Control Panel ... Multimedia.... Midi .... and reset it to external Midi device. Also if you install the latest Quicktime 32 ... it will take over and degrade sound quality when midi's are played. I haven't found a way to cure that except to uninstall it ...)

(Oh ... and one more thing .... if your still using a cheesy 16-bit soundcard .... do yourself a favor and spend a few bucks on a 32 or 64 bit soundcard. The midi's sound great on a good soundcard, and really sound like crap on a 16 bit card ...)

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(Even though MSIE blows Netscape out the door!)


January 6th, 1998

Hey! I won some sort of "award"! ... Cool!



Click for Los Angeles, California Forecast

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Thanks for all those who helped (knowingly or not) in creating this website!
A special thanks go out to Raymundo Coronado Jr. ... Who without his help, this website probably wouldn't exist.